I am up way past my bedtime, again. Sometimes it seems that my mind runs in circles and chases my sleep away. You know, those nights when a yawn doesn't mean sleepiness, it is just something to do to keep a busy brain oxygenated. Rather than staying awake chasing thoughts around, I decided to create a blog. I have been thinking about doing this for a while, and there is no time like the present (even if it is the middle of the night). I do have many, many things to contemplate, however, most of them swirl around the upcoming adoption of our newest family addition, Little J.

Little J has been living with us for three and a half months. He is a pure joy, and adds to the sunshine our two biological daughters bring to our family. He is 17 months old. He is distant cousin of my husband, and has been a ward of the state from the age of four months. His time as a ward of the state will be ending very soon!

Our social worker came for her monthly home visit today. We discussed the various details of our finalization court date, July 19, 2010. Because the adoption will be finalized in a different county, one three hours away, we had to decide if we wanted to be present in the courtroom, or appear by a video phone. We are leaning toward appearing in the courtroom so more family members from his biological family can attend. When the social worker left today, she hugged us and said, "Congratulations! It's a boy!" She also said that this would be our last home visit, and she wished us well.

When the door shut, and she drove away, it dawned on me in a new way... This process of adoption is finally coming to it's conclusion. In just a few weeks, Little J will be ours FOREVER! His birth certificate will be reissued with our names as the mother and father. His last name will be changed to match the rest of us. The maze of home visits, social workers, CRBs, and court dates will be over. Little J will be home FOREVER! The excitement, relief, and love I felt at that moment was overwhelming. It was similar to the end of my pregnancy of our second daughter. I had had a high risk pregnancy, and I felt a huge sense of relief, love, and anticipation when we were told the date of her scheduled induction. All the worry, fears, and what ifs were going to be over. I feel the same way now! Only a few more weeks! The end is in sight, and our family of five will be official!

DH booked a hotel, one with an indoor pool, much to the delight of the children. He arranged for time off, and we gleefully sent the message of the finalization date to all our family members. Now my mind is wandering through the maze of the details. Lists of tasks and preparations are being created. Questions are forming. What will he wear to the court hearing? Should we pack the pack and play or use the hotel's pack and play? Should the girls get matching dresses? Will we drive the van or the car? Will I finish his quilt in time? Don't forget the nebulizer! Umbrellaing over all of this business is the joy and love I feel when Little J shares his hugs and kisses and calls me "Mama".